He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
