Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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