You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
