i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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