the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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