My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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