every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
