My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize