Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
