We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
where does the pee come out of this thing
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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