Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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