your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize