you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
