Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
