i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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