You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
