no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize