I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i dont even know how to be here
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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