Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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