Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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