Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
