Umm I'm too high to move.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
