Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
