just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We need to rekindle our bromance
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
