HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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