I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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