the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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