Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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