So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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