coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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