I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
