the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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