If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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