If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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