The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
