Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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