If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying