Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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  (909): why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"? http://tfl.nu/si77
  Replies (10) Good night (3884) Bad night (739)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like

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  (407): I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like http://tfl.nu/v7ql
  Replies (37) Good night (2239) Bad night (3348)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1583) Bad night (7104)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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  (508): the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party http://tfl.nu/wsii
  Replies (30) Good night (6060) Bad night (1166)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  that was a mass text, wasnt it?

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  (303): im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared. (1-303): that was a mass text, wasnt it? http://tfl.nu/9i1u
  Replies (22) Good night (7281) Bad night (1578)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons

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  (301): Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons http://tfl.nu/ha6n
  Replies (28) Good night (1256) Bad night (4251)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

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  (303): I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/3z60
  Replies (20) Good night (1735) Bad night (4076)
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  (805): View more from California

  Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

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  (805): Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face. http://tfl.nu/ins1
  Replies (10) Good night (4189) Bad night (1290)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

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  (+44): I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right http://tfl.nu/f22x
  Replies (20) Good night (2616) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

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  (812): There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with http://tfl.nu/wqvq
  Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (2723)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  How high are you?

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth

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  (607): How high are you? (413): I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth http://tfl.nu/qyq7
  Replies (5) Good night (1375) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

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  (518): It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected http://tfl.nu/wv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me

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  (772): Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me http://tfl.nu/3ivl
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata

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  (612): I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata http://tfl.nu/6gow
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (180)

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