u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
