Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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