Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
