R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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