Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

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  (267): This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again. http://tfl.nu/qxgz
  Replies (4) Good night (1596) Bad night (2432)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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  (248): If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would. http://tfl.nu/psvg
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (913)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  all he gave me for my birthday was sperm

  (254): View more from Texas

  at least its a homemade gift

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  (801): all he gave me for my birthday was sperm (254): at least its a homemade gift http://tfl.nu/gvzk
  Replies (16) Good night (5837) Bad night (1196)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before

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  (813): i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before http://tfl.nu/gxl8
  Replies (10) Good night (673) Bad night (4592)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during

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  (541): I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during http://tfl.nu/1ah0
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (3164)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it

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  (814): well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it http://tfl.nu/ljcc
  Replies (18) Good night (4402) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.

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  (203): You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long. http://tfl.nu/0h4i
  Replies (4) Good night (3249) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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  (701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg
  Replies (13) Good night (1068) Bad night (3524)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent

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  (301): Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent http://tfl.nu/21ar
  Replies (8) Good night (3279) Bad night (1785)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Lmao sorry

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  (609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80
  Replies (2) Good night (2093) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.

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  (865): I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does. http://tfl.nu/lzon
  Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (1181)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.

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  (905): I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time. http://tfl.nu/shdn
  Replies (13) Good night (584) Bad night (1671)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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  (920): He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week. http://tfl.nu/0wxx
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.

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  (307): I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire. http://tfl.nu/z5bx
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  best eviction party ever.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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  (908): best eviction party ever. (610): it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party. http://tfl.nu/o2dt
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (330)

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