Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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