Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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