What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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