we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize