More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!