Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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