So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
