Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
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My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
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What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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