were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
