too bad you live with your parents still
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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