worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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