I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
