But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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