I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
