dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
