He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
