You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
